Eyes Wide Open
by wildmagic-twilight
Summary: AH/AU:Bella and Edward can't sleep. They are both haunted by their dark pasts. Edward is pretty much a poster boy for anger management issues and is kind of a man-ho. While Bella's kind of social intravert. A darker FF UPDATED!
1. Trouble Sleeping

**Chapter1: Trouble Sleeping**

I snuggled into Edward's chest inhaling his heady scent. Mmmm. Pure bliss.

"I freaking love to the end of the Earth," Edward muttered as he kissed my hair.

Woah. Wait a minute let be back up…

I was a wake. Nothing else new. 6x8/y=z Ugh. I hastily gave up on my summer math packet and walked out on to the back terrace, letting the midnight rain of Forks fall on me. The full moon gave everything a white, washed out look, combined with the rain everything appeared to glow. I looked up at the full moon; its glowing white shape stared back into my eyes. In an instant I saw one of my last memories of Phoenix; the blood, the blood on me, the blood on walls, the blood on…

At that tears began to fall down my face. That's one of the reasons I love Forks, that with the constant downpour no one can notice if you're crying. I pulled out my ipod and jammed the earbuds into my ears.

_I'm having trouble sleeping  
You're jumping in my bed  
Twisting in my head  
Leave me_

I'm having trouble breathing  
You're sitting on my chest  
I sure could use the rest  
Leave me

It's you  
Why's it always you  
and never me?  
I've never dared to let  
my feelings free  
Why's it always you  
and never me?  
I've never cared  
too much about honesty

I'm having trouble sleeping  
I'm thinking of what you said  
About the tears been shed  
Leave me

Then about half way through the song a voice came, "Bella?"

It was Edward Cullen, adopted son of our next door neighbor, Dr. Cullen. He was sighting a top the hedge separating our yards. His bronze hair was disheveled, his black combat boots covered in wet grass, and his green eyes were surrounded by the same purple-ish bruises mine were, from lack of sleep. We both new each other since my Aunt Esme was kinda sweet on Dr. Cullen (as he was her) we'd been lumped together every-so-often when they had joint parties.

"What are you doing out here?" he demanded, eyes fierce. Edward had always intimidated me , he had reputation in school as a "bad kid". We had both just finished 8th grade and in a few hours we'd both be starting high school. The story was on the last day of school he went after a student with a pen. The kid had to have surgery on his eye to repair the damage Edward had done. So Edward was starting Forks High with a fresh string of detentions. Edward had only been in town for two years. His adoptive brother Emmett was a year older than us and had no memories of his parents, they'd died in a random bear attack. I had been in my Aunt Esme's custody for three years.

"Couldn't sleep," I replied curtly.

"Ha, me neither," he said as he slipped down from the hedge into my side of it," you mind if sit with you?"

"Ummm, no I guess," I said. _Why the [insert your choice of cuss word here] does he want to sit with me?_

"Why are you here?" I asked

" 'Mr. Sophomore' is up there with Ms. Hale," he said, nodding up to a window on their house where the lights were still on.

"You mean there…." I left it off. Boy, this was awkward.

"The question is not "They're screwing each other?" but for how long have they been at it?" Edward asked with a grimace.

"Oh God, when did they-" I began but he interrupted.

"Since the last night of school, Carlisle likes to work the graveyard shift as well as the day," he explained.

"That's why I've been going out here at night," he concluded solemnly

"Do you not sleep _every_ night?" I asked him.

"Nearly every night," he admitted, not normally pale complexion seemed to grow ashen.

"Insomnia?" I asked.

"Sure, like that," Edward said, "you?"

"Along those lines," I replied.

"Simply _can't_ wait for school tomorrow," I began with a grin, " 'Oh_ Bella! Help me choose an outfit to look good in, for Jasper." _I joked in a high falsetto, mimicking my cousin Alice.

Edward grinned crookedly, "Ed, you gotta tell me what Evenson likes in guy! Man, you're he next door neighbor, you should know this kinda stuff!" he said mimicking his friend Jasper Hale. OK, so let me explain, my cousin Alice and Edward's best friend, Jasper have liked each other since 5th grade but haven't had the guts to ask each other out.

Both started to laugh hysterically. "Do you know how ridiculously pathetic they are?" he questioned.

"Yup, all summer long Jasper this, Jazzy that," I replied without missing a beat.

Edward gestured to my ipod, "What are you listening to?"

I handed him the small mp3 player and he looked quizzically at the screen. He raised an eyebrow.

"Trouble Sleeping?" he said," Ironic much?"

"Leave it," I said, trying to not let his teasing get to me.

"It's a good song," he recovered, "don't get me wrong. I'm just saying." After a few more minutes of conversation the light in Emmett's room went off.

"I gotta go," Edward began as jumped up and began to climb the hedge," See you tomorrow."

"Oh, Edward?" I called just before his head disappeared over the bush.

"Yeah?"

"Why did you attack that kid?"

"One day I'll tell you. See you here tomorrow, same time?" he said as he sailed over the hedge.

"Sure!" I called and hoped he heard me.

**A/N: So? What did ya think? In the next chapter I'll jump forward in time but give you a time line. Oh and Esme's maiden name was Evenson, so hers and her daughter Alice's last names are Evenson.**

**Review!**

**Wildmagic-twilight **


	2. Gone Forever

**A/N: I told you I'd give you a time line:**

**freshman year:**

**September; Bella and Edward start to spend their sleepless night together out in Bella's backyard**

**November; The first snow of that year and they decide to take turns spending their nights in each other's room**

**December; Bella discovers that they can sleep free from nightmares when they sleep together (not like **_**sleep**_** but catch some zzzs)**

**February; Edward discovers that there are other kinds of "co-ed sleep-overs"**

** Bella goes to Phoenix, for unknown reasons**

**March; Edward earns the term "man-ho"**

**June; Edward turns 16 and gets his Volvo **

**Summer between 9****th**** grade & 10****th**** grade:**

**June- August; Edward and Bella start taking morning runs**

**July; Emmett get arrested for DWI & get grounded for two weeks, Edward practically lives at Bella's ** **house**

**July; Edward gets into drugs**

**July; Edward get set to summer camp for a week because Carlisle caught him with pot, Bella doesn't sleep for a week**

**August; Edward returns & starts cigarettes **

**sophomore year:**

**September: Bella's 16****th**** birthday, she does not get a car, Edward promises one day to get her **

**an Audi**

**February; Bella goes to Phoenix, for unknown reasons**

**Summer between 10****th**** &11****th**** grade**

** June- August; Edward and Bella start taking morning runs**

**PS: Bella still doesn't know why Edward attacked that kid in 8****th**** grade and why Edward has nightmares. Edward doesn't know why Bella has nightmares and why every March she goes to Phoenix.**

**Chapter2: Gone Forever**

Edward Anthony Masen Cullen

_Buzz-ep._ Friggin' alarm. Bella threw the comforter over her head. And I as usual got up and turned it off. We slept in her room that night so, I silently opened the window and climbed onto the roof. I tip toed my way to the edge of the roof and climbed down the shingles, back in 9th grade Bella and I had spent a Saturday afternoon prying some shingles half way off to use as hand and font holds. I then raced across the wet grass and climbed _my_ shingles and pried open the window to my room.

I my room was as usual nothing short of disaster. I dug my way to my dresser and as I tried to find some clean clothes, a minuscule black book fell out and onto the floor.

_Oh freaking God. _I hadn't seen this book in three years. Impulse made me open it. The first picture was a man with green eyes and warm smile looked up at me. Underneath the picture read the caption. _Edward Masen Sr._ My fingers fumbled for the next page. There she was. Familiar bronze hair fell in ringlets around her face. _Elizabeth Masen. _I chocked back tears. _I won't cry. I __**won't**_**. ** I let the book drop to the ground. I grabbed some clothes, changed and raced to my Volvo.

Once I had started the car I put my ipod into the car adapter and music came blasting out.

_Don't know what's going on  
Don't know what went wrong  
Feels like a hundred years I  
Still can't believe you're gone  
So I'll stay up all night  
With these bloodshot eyes  
While these walls surround me with the story of our life_

I feel so much better  
Now that you're gone forever  
I tell myself that I don't miss you at all  
I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now  
That you're gone forever

I threw the car and drove to school. Jasper could get over it and take a ride with Rose. _Knock. _I jumped about a mile high, nearly hitting my head on the roof of my car. God, what freakin idiot. It was Bella. I hastily got out of the Volvo.

"What the _**[insert your choice of cuss word]**_ Bells?" I demanded.

"Thanks for waiting for me to say goodbye this morning," she said, pissed," you okay?"

"Fine," I retorted, I hated it when she knew I was upset. Then the frigin' pixie, aparted out of thin air.

"What chya talkin' about?" Evenson asked in an annoyingly perky voice.

"Nothing," I growled as I shuffled away from the pixie. As I walked by I noticed Newton's eyes were lingering all over Bells. I gave him my number one, "go to hell" glare. He stopped. No one could escape the hatred of my glares.

Bella and I had stayed up only 'till 3 A.M. But I was still exhausted. So of course, I passed out cold in English and thanks to that freaking black book I had nightmares. It was only 'till Bella has kicked me so hard that I actually screamed in class that I woke up. Thanks to my stupidity I had gotten myself and after school detention. Like I'd be going to that.

***

At lunch Bella asked me, " What was that about?"

"Nothing," I grunted and when no one was looking at us I mouthed, "tonight."

Suddenly Jazz slid in in-between us, grinning. "Have you seen Evenson today?" he demanded with quite a lost-puppy like look.

"For your sake I hope I didn't," I said.

"She is ridiculously hot! God, she came up to me and actually said," Hope you like this"! he gushed. Bella and I both snickered. Last night she asked me what Jazz's favorite color was. And now Evenson was here wear a ridiculously short and low cut gray dress.

"That's nice Jazz," Bella said sarcasticly.

"Oh shut it, Swan," Jasper said and then continued to ogle at Evenson.

"So Jazz, you know Emmett's throwing a party tonight," Bella stated in the usual Friday party ritual.

"You should ask her," I egged him on, completing the Friday party ritual. Suddenly as if in a daze Jazz got up.

"I think I'm going to ask her," he said as if in disbelief himself.

"Oh God," Bella muttered as he walked forward. Jazz bent down to Evenson's ear. The pixie's eye lit up and nodded. She grabbed his arm and pulled him into the seat next to her.

"Is he going to come back?" Bella asked feigning fear.

"She's your cousin, you should know if she's going to release him," I countered.

"I still can't believe he did it," she muttered. Then the cafeteria doors opened and in walked three new girls, the two on the end both had pale blond hair and blue eyes, the one in the middle had strawberry blond curls and golden eyes. All of them were quite stunning. I slowly got up and began to make my way towards them.

"Edward? You aren't really-" I broke Bella off with a wave of my hand and gracefully finished making my way across the cafeteria.

"Hullo, I'm Edward Cullen," I began as I herded them to my table, "would you like to sit with me?"

All three of them giggled when I said my name. "Oh yes," the middle one said," I'm Tanya."

"I'm Kate," Said the one on the left end," and that's Irina," she said pointing to the other girl. We quickly sat down and I placed my self next to the one named Tanya, she was by far the sexiest of the three.

"So Edward who are your new friends?" Bella asked.

"Tanya, Kate, and Irina," I said smugly," So girls did you hear about the party tonight at my place?"

"No," said Tanya blushing.

"Ah well then, I'll have to fix that," I said, taking her hand and pulling a pen out of my pocket I quickly wrote my address on her palm.

Then the bell rang and as the three if them walked away I said, "So I'll see you tonight," and finished with a wink.

As Bella and I walked to biology she said," God Edward, good God a wink? A _wink_? Are you frigin serious?"

"What?" I asked innocently, " Don't you know me well enough by now?"

"Yes, but you get worse every time," she complained as we sat down at our lab table, " Are you really going to go through _all_ of them?" she asked in a lower tone.

"Dunno yet," I answered in an equally lower tone.

"So, I guess I _won't_ be seeing you tonight," Bella said and out of the corner of my eye I thought she looked a little torn up.

"Bells, I-"

"No Edward, it's okay it's been like this since the middle of 9th grade." The rest of the class we didn't talk, the whole period was quite dull. What was really bugging me was that Bella seemed upset. Oh, _**[insert your choice of swear word]**_. I told her I'd tell her about the dream. That's probably it. But I'd broken promises before. God girls are so confusing.

**A/N: 'Kay! I hopped you liked it! I'll post the party in the next chapter from both Edward's POV and Bella's. And I'd like to introduce a little section in the A/N that I'll do every chapter. A review of the recent events Gossip Girl Style!:**

_**E was seen eyeing the newest additions to Forks High. Will any of them find a beau in E or will they just join his many victims? J finally had the guts to ask out A. Will it be a total failure or will it be the romance of their lives? And what's eating at E? Who are those people in the little black book? What'll happen next at Em's party?**_

_**Xoxo,**_

_**Gossip Girl**_

**Review!**

**wildmagic-twilight**__


	3. Paralyzer

**Chapter 3; Paralyzer**

***

_Isabella Swan_

About a half an hour before ten, I got out my favorite book, The Five People You Meet in Heaven, and buckled down for a long night without Edward and with a party next door. It was _my_ party night ritual, read _Five People,_ Edward had his (screw with some girl), Alice had hers (spend all afternoon picking out an outfit), and I had mine. I hated parties, I really did. After beginning dragged to one by Alice when I was a freshmen and nearly getting to assaulted by Newton, I had given up on them.

Finally around ten-ish I saw Rosalie's car quickly drop off Jasper for his date. I zoomed to the door before he could ring the bell.

"Jazz hold on a sec," I said before he entered the house. I closed the door, raced to my room and dug out from the bottom of my closest a pale blue pinstripe button down that Edward left here one night. I grabbed it and raced back to the door.

"Here," I said, holding out the shirt. Jazz had on blue jeans, a black t-shirt that read, "THINK BECAUSE ANIMALS THINK," and his signature cowboy boots. Quickly put on the button down over the tee.

"Leave it unbuttoned and roll up the sleeves," I commanded, knowing it would pass the Alice's appropriate clothing test.

"Alice!" I called. In about the shortest amount of time possible she appeared next to me, gave Jazz a sly smile, took his arm and lead him off to the Cullen mansion, her 4-inch, two hundred dollar stilettos clicking against the cement.

***

After about an hour of reading in my room and partying next door, my sense of curiosity got to me. I put down my book, went to my closet, and grabbed a plaid miniskirt that Alice once bought me. I hastily pulled it over my jeans, and headed out the door.

***

Inside the Cullen home rap music blared, in the front hall itself there were about 12 couples about to make it to second base. I worked my way into the living room where there was a bar set up with some freshman, who more than likely new a few bar tricks, was serving as bartender, along with a DJ. I then saw a lanky, bronze haired figure leave his date's side. It was Edward and Tanya. Only Edward got up, he dressed exactly like the Edward I knew did a comb of basic things, like jeans and tees, and eccentric pieces. Don't get me wrong he's not a dandy; it's more like an emo style. Tonight he was wearing one of those Victorian versions of a suit jacket, you know with the tails, black skinny leg jeans, a white t-shirt, and his combat boots. Edward made his way to the DJ and whispered in his ear and appeared to slip him some money.

Suddenly a new song was blasting out of the speakers;

_I hold on so nervously  
To me and my drink  
I wish it was cooling me  
But so far, has not been good  
It's been shitty  
And I feel awkward, as I should  
This club has got to be  
The most pretentious thing  
Since I thought you and me  
Well I am imagining  
A dark lit place  
Or your place or my place_

Well I'm not paralyzed  
But, I seem to be struck by you  
I want to make you move  
Because you're standing still  
If your body matches  
What your eyes can do  
You'll probably move right through  
Me on my way to you

God, what a player. He was playing _Paralyzer_. God. Alice and Jasper zoomed past me, engaged in quite the make out. Jesus, I hate parties. Then, Edward began to head back to Tanya. When he reached her he gave her a peck on the lips, she gave him a sip of her martini. Edward hated martinis, but he liked girls more. Emmett and Rosalie were intertwined on the couch; Mike Newton was over by the bar with Jessica Stanley. I saw Rose's hand slip and pour her wine on the couch. I had a flash. Blood on the couch. Blood on the walls. Blood on me. Pain. Oh, God pain. I could feel the knife twist in my gut. Could hear my bones snapping. The blood….no…no. I shook my head and raced out of there.

***

_Edward Anthony Masen Cullen_

I could hear Emmett barking orders to the bar tender, some freshman who claimed he knew a couple of bar tricks, and the DJ. I had about 2.5 minutes until the guest would start to arrive. I quickly grabbed a handful of clothes off and stuffed them in my dresser. Then I kicked the remaining crap on my floor under my bed; I threw the sheets up to make it look like it was neat.

At about 10:02, the first group started to arrive. It was Emmett's annoying perverted jock friends.

"Hey, Em we got the keg!" Newton slurred, as if he'd already had some of the keg.

"And we got the _goods_" Crowley said. OK so, at this one there _was_ going to be pot. Before I headed downstairs I grabbed my pack of cigarettes, a lighter and shoved them in the inside pocket of my coat.

"Where the hells were you Ed?" Emmett demanded once I was downstairs.

"Shut it," I growled, "and I hope you know hell doesn't have an s on the end."

"Get over it Ed."

"Don't fringing call me that," I snarled. A car pulled up into the driveway and Rose entered through the front door. She didn't even say hi to him, just went in for the make-out. Five seconds later, Jazz and the pixie came in. I gave Jazz a sideways glace, he raised his eyebrows suggestively and looked at Evenson. Great God Jazz lay off_._ Wait. Is that… my shirt? Didn't I leave that at Bella's once? Oh crap, it didn't matter. By 10:30 nearly everyone from school was here, with exception of Bella (who didn't party) and the new girls.

About five minutes later I was sitting on one of the leather club chairs nursing a vodka and a cigarette and there was a tap on my shoulder. I snapped my head back there was Tanya, her coy smile flashing.

"Hey," she said, blushing.

" Hullo Tanya," I gently grabbed her hand and began to lead her over to the makeshift bar," care for a drink?"

"Uh sure…" she said nervously.

"Freshman," I said snapping my fingers in the kid's face, "give her a martini." Girls seemed to like those. The kid quickly made it and handed it to her. She took a tentative sip. I drained the leftovers of my vodka in a single chug. Ah, the feeling of being totally wasted.

"Come on," I whispered in her ear and gently dragged her back to the club chair. I sat down and draped Tanya across me lap.

"You have an interesting taste of hospitality here, Mr. Cullen," she said slyly .

"Well, we _are_ the Cullen boys."

She giggled. God she had such a sexy smile. I bent forward to her ear kissed it and whispered, "Wait here."

I swiftly swung her legs out from underneath me, got up, and placed the back down, peaking under that sexy yellow dress as well, in one fluid moment. I then gracefully strided to the DJ.

"Paralyzer," I whispered, slipping him a fifty.

Then my song choice blared out of the speakers;

_I hold on so nervously  
To me and my drink  
I wish it was cooling me  
But so far, has not been good  
It's been shitty  
And I feel awkward, as I should  
This club has got to be  
The most pretentious thing  
Since I thought you and me  
Well I am imagining  
A dark lit place  
Or your place or my place_

Well I'm not paralyzed  
But, I seem to be struck by you  
I want to make you move  
Because you're standing still  
If your body matches  
What your eyes can do  
You'll probably move right through  
Me on my way to you

I began to move back to Tanya. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a girl with chocolate brown hair, something tugged at the back of my mind. Once I reach Tanya I bent down for a brief kiss. After that she put her martini to my lips. I quickly took a small sip, but God I hate martinis. Everyone was acting like animals. That was a high school party, though.

After a _few_ more drinks, I whispered to Tanya, "Come to my room with me…."

***

**T was last seen going up stairs with E…. you know I love parties. What was B doing there? Was she looking for E? Or some else? J and A seem to be a hit, but will it come crashing down on them?**

**Xoxo,**

**Gossip Girl**

**Review!**


	4. MUST READ

**Dear faithful readers,**

**I'm changing my penname to Evil Black Poppies. Sorry to those who enjoyed this username I've grown (mentally) a lot since I started this account, my writing style is a little different (OK, so I still write crackfic occasionally), I don't write every idea I get, and I've gotten a heck of a lot better with my grammar. So I have decided to change my penname. Only a few stories will go with me to my new account they are;**

**~Dark Shadows (note to the readers: The update is coming SOON)**

**~Eyes Wide Open**

**~The Midnight CrackFics**

**And a definite MABEY; Falling Stars (note: This story is being re-vamped [no pun intended], so it may possibly come back under a different name)**

**Lots of love,**

**wildmagic-twilight**


	5. Yet Another Annoying AN

**Readers,**

**Yes, I'm a little ticked off about my recent string "You're copying Wide Awake," reviews. I had never read Wide Awake until you guys mentioned this in your reviews. The reason she was under my favorite authors was friend recommend the FF and I favorite her so I could remember to read it. I happen to have a sleep disorder so that's where my idea came from. Some of one reviews was polite and I have no problem with that, but the one that was rude and ridiculously long I did have issues with. I'm not saying I'll block you and all, but I just wanted to respond to the long review I've been getting And thanks for all those little shit-ass nagging things like, "there are 3 kinds of there, their, they're" yeah, I KNOW that! I'm not stupid. And by the way I AM trying to get a Beta. Thanks for the tip, again, I know this. Stuff I've been on FF for 6 months. OK? I happen to have some of a brain upstairs. If you have a problem with a few grammatical flaws, Beta me. Yeah, I'm kinda flaming you guys but it pisses me off, alright? Another thing I'd like to point out is that I write like I speak, so me writing something like ,"He's not a dandy," Bella's train of thought, as if she were telling the story to someone. I am sorry if that's a little confusing, that's just how the words flow. And on the whole pen thing with Edward. As we all should remember Carlisle Cullen is an affluent member of the Forks community, so this can go differently if an important person is evolved.**

**P.S.-**

**OK, do I'd like to remind you that I'm changing pennames, to Evil Black Poppies, and this story is going to make the move with me to the name. If you would still like to read the story go ahead. I still love my amazing reviews-all of you even the flames-and I'd like to keep writing this, but if there's too much public upset I'll stop.**

**Virtual cookies to all,**

**wildmagic-twilight [soon to be Evil Black Poppies]**


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